Hello, Alana: One Feminist's Experiences with Sex, Dating, and a lot of Drunken Nights

Friday, June 30, 2006

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Monday, June 26, 2006

Pee is not on the Menu

The episode of Sex and the City when Carrie is asked by a politician if she will give him a golden shower reminds me of an experience that I recently had. Only mine was perhaps more disturbing.

About a month ago I had gone to a birthday party with the guy I was dating. It was a lot of fun and I enjoyed being with him and drinking lots of alcohol. After we returned from the party, the guy I was with, let's call him 'Pee Guy', said that he needed to go to the bathroom. I said thats fine with me, thinking nothing of it, until he asked me to go into the bathroom with him. I was drunk and thought nothing of it, so i went.

And when we got into the bathroom, he asked me to hold his dick while he peed. The red flag should have gone up right there, but I decided I'd just turn around and face the wall because I really didn't want to watch him pee. Little did I know what would happen when we went back to the bedroom...

After the uncomfortable 'hold my dick while I pee' situation, bedroom events started as usual, until I had to go use the restroom because beer tends to make me pee an awful lot. So I tell him I have to use the restroom and get up to go but then he stops me and says You can pee in my mouth.

That was a very sobering moment for me. I had never been asked such a question (maybe I just haven't been around all that much) but I'm pretty sure that not many people have been asked that question before.

So, after the initial shock of that question and my my immediate sprint to the bathroom in which I'm sure I could have qualified for an Olympic trial, I got to thinking: Did he have someone do that before? Does he like pee in his mouth often? and finally, does he swallow, or just sort of gargle it and spit it back out? This was followed by: oh dear, he's probably had someone do this before, he probably likes it if he asked, and I wonder if you get sick from swallowing pee.

Well, of course I had to look it up to see what this pee fetish is all about. Apparently, it's pretty safe to pee in someones mouth, unless the person peeing has a urinary tract infection or some other type of infection in their pee. Peeing during sexual activity is sometimes referred to as 'watersports'. Very interesting. So i guess it's safer than I initailly thought, but I still don't think it's quite the thing I am into.

As for Pee Guy, he and I don't talk much anymore, and I really do hope he finds a really nice girl out there who will pee in his mouth whenever his heart desires. I just hope she doesn't eat asparagus first.